The Christensens: James has it all figured out...

An excerpt from my conversation with James (six years old) this morning:

Tat: You used to be a little tiny baby. Now you're a big kid. What happened?

James: That's just the way life works, Mom.

Too true.

James: I can't wait to be old enough to not go to school anymore.

Tat: When you're that old, you'll have to go to work.

James: No, I won't. I'll go to my lab to study animals.

Sounds good. I like a kid with a plan.

Out of the Mouths of James and Alexander

8 April 2012 - James: "That gives me the poops."

Lately - Alex, at bedtime: "Have a good day at sleep!"

4 December 2011 - To himself, looking in the refrigerator: Heavy wiping cream? HEAVY wiping cream? It's not that heavy! (Pause.) Maybe it makes you heavy.

3 December 2011 - James: How fast are we going?

Tat: 65 miles per hour. The speed limit.

James: So all of those people are breaking the speed limit? They're going faster than us.

Tat: Yep.

(Pause.)

James: They must need to go to the bathroom.

2 October 2011 - James: My book is ruined. We need to order a new one online.

Tat: No, you'll just have to make do with that one. I'm not going to order you a new one.

James: Fine, then I'll order it myself.

Tat: With what money?

James: I'll print out a picture of a dollar from the internet and then use that.

17 September 2011 - "Do they call it Silver Lake because if you catch the most fish you win a silver trophy?"

8 September 2011 - At bedtime, by himself, in his room: "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it..."

22 August 2011 - "I'm like the fastest kid on Earth."

20 July 2011 - I asked James how he was doing out in the back yard. He replied, "I'm just practicing stuff to be a superhero."

7 June 2011 - "See how fat my arms are, Dad? I'm so strong, I can smash a potato."

6 June 2011 - "Mom, are you a Sugar Mama?" We've got to stop listening to that song.

May 2011 - "Are pirates extinct?"

April 2011 - "Watch, Mom, I can hit my head and the table at the same time!"

April 2011 - "Real monsters are extinct."

November 2010 - Tat: "Go to sleep, James." James: "I can't go to sleep, Mom! I'm nocturnal!"

August 2010 - "How did Heavenly Father make the animals?" "How do people grow bones?"

Tat: "Who would you like to marry when you grow up?"

James: "You, mama."

July 2010 - "What's the Spanish word for 'quesadilla'?"

14 July 2010 - "What's their fur name?" I think he meant "surname."

10 July 2010 - "My bottom hurts. I think I have diaper rash."

June 2010 - James was taking swim lessons from a woman named Lisa, whom he had only seen in the pool. He asked me one morning, "How does Lisa go to sleep?"

June 2010 - James: "You should come visit us, Grandma Cindy." Grandma: "But I live all the way in Florida, and you live in Utah." James: "Here's a tip, Grandma. Get on a plane and fly to Utah to see us."

June 2010 - "Sometimes I do know any better, and sometimes I don't know any better."

12 June 2010 - "My room is messy because it is grumpy today."

Various dates over the last few months - James uses the phrase "or else" when he means "instead," to hilarious results. Examples: "I want to go to the Aquarium or else." "I would like some apple juice or else." "I want to get a toy today or else."

17 May 2010 - "Do you know why I love you? Because you're in my heart."

May 2010 - Tat: "When you get married, what temple would you like to get married in?"

James: "The one that Jesus lives in."

April 2010 - "I think if I find a shark or an alligator or a dinosaur under my bed, I will kill it."

23 February 2010 - "Mom, I don't hate sleeping anymore."

22 February 2010 - Tat: "Heavenly Father hears all our prayers."

James: "I think he has a big screen in his house. And he can listen to the prayers on the screen."

2 February 2010 - "Do you know that I hate sleeping?"

23 January 2010 - "Wake up, Mom! Get a move on! We're losing the light!"

31 December 2009 - James: "I want to go back home."

Tat: "We are going back home now."

James: "No, to our home in London."

And then my heart broke.

The Christensens

Monday, February 13, 2012

James has it all figured out...

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